Tags
child marriage, feminism, foeticide, honour killings, India, rape, women
Every 20 minutes, a woman is raped in the largest democracy in the world. Whether it is 20 or 2 is immaterial. For all we know, it could be every 2 minutes, because most rape victims in India are too scared to speak out. What is important here is that these rapes happen, and at such an alarming rate, that they pose the question of ‘why’. Why is it so easy for a woman to be raped in India, and for the rapist to get away? Why are there no proper laws making it harder for rapes to happen? Why are people who are raped criminalised, with many victims ending their own lives in fear of the stigma? Why does it have to take one well-publicised rape case to open the government’s eyes to the importance of the issue? Why is a woman’s honour considered to be more important than her life? Why is India one of the worst countries to be a woman?
For anyone who has been following a well-covered recent rape case in New Delhi, the death of a 23-year old medical student in the Indian capital marks the end of justice for many. Since after 16 December, the day the woman was gang raped in a bus and thrown out along with her male friend (who was also attacked); many Indians took to the streets protesting that the criminals be punished severely. Many even echoed their desire to see the death penalty imposed for these rapists. After fighting for her life for 13 days, the woman succumbed to her injuries. Still nothing concrete has come out of this case.
She is not the only rape victim in the country to go through such a heartbreaking fate, with many others having been left out by the media. However, what her case has done is bringing about a huge public outcry, and drawing international attention to the condition of women in India. In a poll in 2011, India was named the 4th worst country for women (with Afghanistan, Democratic Republic of Congo, Pakistan, and Somalia occupying the other spots in the top 5 list). In another poll, India was named the worst country for women among the G20 nations. Does India deserve these ‘honours’? Recently, a 29-year old man in the Eastern Indian state of West Bengal beheaded his own sister in an ‘honour killing’, justifying his act by saying that his sister needed to be punished for going off to live with her ex-boyfriend. His family applauded his act too, agreeing that the murder was necessary to protect the family’s honour. This is one of so many such honour killing cases annually in a country where namus is such a strong concept.
What gives fuel to such thoughts? Where does the idea come from that if a woman is raped, she deserves it? Or if a woman brings ‘dishonour’ upon a family, she needs to be killed? Who makes it difficult for a raped woman to be accepted by her family, as in the case many women who are left to fend for themselves after being rejected by society?
Why indeed is India such a terrible country for its women? Look at the list of the 5 worst places for women. Whereas Afghanistan, DRC and Somalia are embroiled in their own internal conflicts, India has been an independent, democratic, and relatively conflict-free country since 1947. The Indian constitution guarantees rights to its citizens, regardless of their class, caste or gender. Then why is violence against women commonplace? Why do some men think it their right to pass lewd remarks on women, or to look at them uncomfortably, or to touch them and grope them, or even to rape them?
Skewed perspectives
It goes back to a deeply engrained patriarchal system that treats women as lesser beings. Women are meant to be confined at home, their lives revolving around household chores, giving birth, and serving men (whether it is their fathers, fathers-in-law, husbands, brothers, brothers-in-law, or even sons). The ‘importance’ of women is obvious when one finds out that more than a third of child brides live in India. The sole purpose of a woman is to be married and to bear children. Age is just a number in this matter and the earlier a girl is married, the less of a burden she is to her parents.
Any woman who moves out of this domestic system is a deviant, a woman without values. Any woman who discards traditional concealing garments for more revealing outfits is a woman who is ‘asking for it’. Any woman who is free and independent, making her own career choices and choosing her own partner deserves to be punished – because that is not her place. She cannot choose the way she wants to live her own life. Because of this growing independence of women, some men think it is their duty to show women their ‘place’.
When a female child is born – she is made aware of her difference with her parents and relatives constantly telling her to be demure and to give her brother what he wants. A male child is told not to do the housework – because his mother or sister are there for that. A girl child is conditioned to think that marriage is her ultimate goal in life – and she must foster qualities that make her a suitable bride in the long run. A male child’s violent actions are not snubbed like those of his sister’s, because ultimately he is building his masculinity. These attitudes are not propagated only by fathers but by mothers too. It is in this environment that men grow to accept their stubbornness, disregard for women, and violent tendencies as their right, and women grow to accept their submission, demureness and honour as their duties. Of course this is not the case in all households because there are women who have never had to do a day of housework, and there are men who respect women as equals. What it does show however, is that for some people, skewed attitudes towards the other sex actually developed when they were children.
Even if a woman escapes all these gender-biased situations in her home, or if she faces no molestation from her own family members, she goes through them most commonly on India’s streets. Possibly no Indian woman in the country (perhaps apart from the North-East, and other remote areas mountainous regions) has escaped some form or the other of sexual molestation, be it a very long uncomfortable stare from a man, or being groped or touched inappropriately. In fact this is so common that women fear going out alone especially at night, they fear talking to men sometimes, they try avoiding any physical contact with men. It is so common that there’s hardly any retaliation from a woman when she is asked not to go out in the night or to go out alone. Why should there be? After all it is for her safety or so she thinks. In fact it becomes more of an issue if a woman does go out at unearthly hours of the night. Take for instance the case when a female journalist was murdered when she was outside until 3am. Delhi’s Chief Minister, a woman herself, said that one “should not be so adventurous”. However, no one tells a man not to walk around at the same time. After all, he doesn’t have to fear the same things a woman has to fear on the street.
If a woman goes out in the night and something happens to her, the first question asked is why she went out in the night. Victim blaming seems to be the most common of all. It is the same with rape and molestation cases where the first question asked is if a woman was wearing revealing clothes or if she was partying. Why are the same questions never asked to men?
As if gender discrimination in everyday life is not enough, the Indian justice system does not do much for a woman either. Many times, rapists have walked free whereas the victims have died or have been forced into killing themselves. In some parts of India, a woman’s chastity is the most important thing there is – ironically even more than her life. Once that is gone, even if it is not out of her own doing, she faces only one thing – dishonour. In many cases, this honour is so important to her that death is better than being shamed. That is the ‘importance’ of women. Society plays such a huge role in dictating the importance of this chastity that many times even families of these ‘dishonoured’ women commit suicide.
Yes, women in India can vote, they can wear what they want, they can work and can earn, they can drive, they can become politicians. Yes, India has had a woman Prime Minister as well as a woman President, long before many other countries. On the surface, it would seem that women in India are much better off.
Yes, women in India are raped every 20 minutes, almost 40% of all child brides in the world come from India, there are 940 females for every 1000 males in the country, more than 10 million females have been aborted before being born in India. It then sparks the question about why this is happening in a country that considers itself a future economic superpower? Why is it that India’s true wealth now lies in the money it makes, rather than the protection and respect of its citizens, regardless of gender? What it shows that India really has a long way to go until it brands itself a future superpower, because the way things are right now show that the country still has not come out of its prevailing ignorant, misogynist attitudes.
When one hears of these statistics, when one understands the attitudes that are prevalent in the country, it should come as no shock when India is named one of the worst countries in the world for women. It’s a shameful honour that India can bask in for now.
Arlen Shahverdyan said:
I shared this post through my social network for more people know about this terrible problem!
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks a lot Arlen :). Much appreciated
makagutu said:
Anarya, what a well written post!
It is hard to fathom such a sad statistic. It hurts to even begin to think what violation women go through in India as if they chose to be born women! It saddens me when men fail to realize it is beholden upon us to protect the women and that human rights are also women rights.
India is doing badly! It’s a disgrace to the moral conscience of the world.
Anarya Andir said:
Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment!
Yes it’s terrible to imagine what some Indian women have to go through on a daily basis. Though the law makes us equal, there are cultural aspects that downplay the importance of women. Men are considered superior at all levels. India has apparently become worse now. There’s been a 10% rise in the number of rapes over the past decade apparently. I don’t know if that’s because more women are now revealing that they were raped, or if it’s because more women are becoming independent and that is ‘angering’ these rapists
makagutu said:
Maybe the % appears to have gone up but in actual sense it is more people coming out public to say we are victims.
A society can only be judged as successful to the level it protects the vulnerable and any society that sees family honor as more important than a woman’s life is far in the ladder. They are as close to the barbarians of old as it can get.
Any culture that treats any set of human beings as lesser persons or that gives a certain group of people authority to lord over others I detest.
Anarya Andir said:
Yeah I think that’s one of the reasons for the percentages to go up. The number of unreported rapes is supposed to be higher than those that are reported!
Yes I agree with you – it’s a primeval way of thinking and it needs to be changed.
Since it’s India it’s got a number of different cultures, but a dominant culture that exists is really misogynistic.
makagutu said:
Most cultures in a way are misogynistic. I will give an example of one I feel is misogynistic though many of my friends disagree with me.
Here would be husbands have to pay bride price determined by the bride’s family. I have contended that this equal to purchasing the woman, or else there would not be a specific requirement as to amount. People have given several reasons why they disagree with me citing for example that it has been done since the time of our forefathers so who am I to question it.
Man must come first then culture, therefore any cultural practice that makes a joke of this in this century must be abolished, I don’t care whether it has been done for 500 generations.
Anarya Andir said:
Yeah I’d agree that’s misogynist. It’s like putting a price on the bride’s head. The concept of dowry (from the bride’s family) is another terrible practice, where the parents think they’re paying money to the bridegroom to take their burdensome daughter.
That’s the unfortunate thing. Mindless traditions have become such a part of life that no one questions them!
I completely agree with you – humans come first. Culture comes waaay later
Clanmother said:
A brilliant post!!!
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks so much!
Clanmother said:
Thank you for being a positive influence for good. These are difficult discussions – your wrote with passion and grace.
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks so much for the kind words! It’s quite an intense topic to write about but I’ve only touched part of the topic. Hope I’ve done it a bit of justice.
cav12 said:
What a powerful post. I just hope sense will prevail and something is done to protect women. Such ingrained behaviour and attitude will take a long time to eradicate but power in numbers, such as has been seen on news media, will be the impetus for change. Stay safe Anarya.
Anarya Andir said:
Thank you so much for your kind words! It will take a lot of time before these attitudes change, but I hope it will happen anyway. Awareness is the first step.
Thanks again 🙂 and a very Happy New Year to you!
bentehaarstad said:
So many important questions to be answered. At least this tragedy made one good thing: made people aware.
Anarya Andir said:
Indeed. But whatever has happened does not seem to have made any difference so far. People are still protesting and everywhere there are empty promises. I hope things change though
Leanova Designs said:
Very sad but true, there is much to be done but unfortunately good change comes very slow..
Anarya Andir said:
You’re completely right about good change coming slow. I hope change does happen though, even if it takes time.
Pingback: What It Means To Be A Woman In India | Young Canadian Voice – Hopeful?
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks a lot for the share!
leahsumner said:
Reblogged this on leahsumner.
SK said:
Wow, thanks for writing this article. I was aching for more information on this subject. You detailed it wonderfully. Thanks again!
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks a lot! Glad it could help you in some way 🙂
Anarya Andir said:
Reblogged this on Anarya's Sanctuary and commented:
Unfortunately this is still relevant
Mona Gustafson Affinito said:
Actually, I didn’t want to click “like” because I am far from liking this. What I do like is getting the word out — the first step, I hope, toward gaining for women the freedom and value they deserve.
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks Mona. I know, it’s just not something that can be ‘liked’. These are terrible things that are happening, and unfortunately there is no end in sight. At least people are talking more about it now – like you said ‘getting the word out’. Hopefully that will bring about some change
kinneret said:
Sharing this post on FB. I knew about that bus incident and I knew there had been others but I had no idea it was this terrible. I did know about the child brides in India being a terrible problem though because I worked for a year at National Geographic and there was a female photographer who tried to really bring this issue to the attention of the public. Thank you for following my art blog.
Anarya Andir said:
Hi, thanks for leaving a comment and for the share!
It is indeed quite a terrible issue. I did read that 40% of all child brides are from India, and though it was surprising, it wasn’t all that surprising at the same time. It is quite disturbing however.
You have a great blog and I enjoyed going through it! 🙂
kinneret said:
Thank you. The world in general feels LESS safe to women to me than it did 30 years ago. I don’t know about India then but I did travel in Europe, some places alone, would not now. India is an amazing country so I hope that they will make changes that both protect and liberate women.