Marriage has just never interested me. I am not against it – in fact I feel happy for those who decide to tie the knot, but it is just not for me.
If there are people out there who feel like me, I think you should start considering the advantages of being single. Here, by single, I mean unmarried people (not necessarily people in relationships), as well as people who do not have children.
1. You can balance your life out without being confused. Imagine if you’re very close to your parents and after getting married, your spouse expects to spend more time with you. You might actually want to go on a vacation with your parents, but you have to drag your spouse along anyway because you’re bound for life. If you’re single, you can be where you want to be without worrying about bringing your spouse and children along.
2. You can save money and travel the world. Imagine if you are married and have a child. Everything you earn will go towards your child’s education. The thought of raising your child will forever be on your mind. However, if you are single, your expenses are under your control. You can spend it where you want and how you want without feeling obligated.
3. You can maintain meaningful friendships. Once people are married (in most cases), their lives change and they stop meeting up with friends or being in touch with them. Their lives become cocooned. This is even truer for people who have children. It is not a conscious decision to do this most of the times, but it ends up happening because you think your world is complete and you need no one else. However, if you are single, your desire for companionship results in you forming meaningful friendships that you want to carry on for the rest of your life. And this is better because you learn more from more people than you do from one (i.e. your spouse).
4. You can live simply. Once you are married, there is the pressure of buying or renting a nice house or apartment, making space for children, buying a car, buying other expensive household items, just because that is how married life is supposed to be. You are supposed to be settled and not shabby. If you are single, you do NOT always have to do the above. You can decide to live in a medium or small apartment or house. You do not need to buy a car (save the environment from further damage). Also you won’t mind eating out of cookie jars and food storage containers.
5. You do not have to argue about who is going to do what. ‘It’s your day to do the laundry; I’ll go to the grocers’. Well at least you won’t have this problem if you’re single. It is another matter that you might have to do both yourself, but that’s being independent. Regular arguments about household chores are soon going to be a bore.
6. You do not have to be disappointed if your spouse does not enjoy something you like. Most of the time, people look for acceptance in their spouses. If you like to travel, he/she must like it too; otherwise your dream of travelling will never come true. What if he/she doesn’t though? It could very much be a disappointment. If you’re single, the only thing you have to bother about is what you like, and you are free to do that.
7. You don’t have to go into depression if your spouse forgets your anniversary date. If you’re single, all you have to remember is your own birthday!
8. You don’t have to lose your sleep over trying to impress your in-laws (I’m a feminist so I mean this for both men and women). One of the first steps to a good marriage is to make sure your spouse’s family doesn’t resent you. You need to make a good impression – which can take up way too much time and energy. However, if you’re single, this is totally irrelevant.
9. You can change as many professions as you want. Once you are married and have kids, the cardinal rule says you must be stable. This means if your job pays you decently but sucks the life out of you, you must stick to it anyhow, because you cannot afford to go out of work. If you are single however, you can change as many jobs as you like, because stability is important, but liking what you do might be more important.
10. You can save the world. Yeah I mean this literally. You know we are 7 billion people on the planet right now. 7 billion! Can you imagine what that means? Very soon humans will fully inhabit the earth, and everything that is good and green now will be destroyed. We will use up resources. I do not know why it is called ‘multiplying like rabbits’ when it should be ‘multiplying like humans’. If this generation cares about saving the planet for future generations, I think some countries (really overpopulated ones), should consider not having children. Sounds blasphemous doesn’t it? But ultimately I think humans are selfish – why else would you want a child? For YOUR happiness – not for the happiness of this world. Think about the world for a change now.
Ok I’m done. Any more ideas? 😀
ihavemorerockstoo said:
So cool.. How romantic!?!? :D:D
Some more from me…
You can be yourself: Dont have to compromise, change or fit in
You dont have to understand everyone’s problems. People will leave you alone in their life misery..( —(You cant be expected to understand their marital issues if you are single)
You dont have to give up fashion – for kids, functionality, safety or the trend of changing styles as you grow old ( Not interested in growing my hair for any reason just because i am a mother of a fifteen year old – this still exists by the way)
Umm.. okay the rest of the points are too silly..But here it goes…
Anarya Andir said:
Hahha – yeah those points you mentioned are completely true as well. And this subject is so incredibly romantic that it’s almost unbelievable. 😛
Being yourself is so right – as well as not having to compromise. Those are two very important things
ihavemorerockstoo said:
Silly ones..
– So used to not having to share stuff.. (single child syndrome) I can continue living with myself
– I will have my own bed. (Little paranoid with that)
– I will always have peaceful mornings
– My eccentric tastes and habits doesn’t have to go into hiding
– Noone is cleaning up anyone’s mess. if its my mess it will be my mess. I can always find things on my own.
okay I’ll leave you alone.. 😀
Anarya Andir said:
Haha – I enjoy reading your replies. They make a lot of sense. So don’t worry about commenting.
Having your own bed is a good one – have the entire place to yourself :P.
Yeah and one doesn’t have to hide his/her eccentric habits.
In short, there are a LOT of advantages of being single. 😀
ihavemorerockstoo said:
You might want to read this> http://earlswynn.hubpages.com/hub/101-reasons-to-stay-single
Anarya Andir said:
Hahah! 101 reasons! Awesome. I always knew there was an endless list for the advantages of being single :D. Thanks for sharing 😀
Professor Love said:
I agree completely, too much emphasis is put on getting married, people tend to forget to do the steps needed to build up to that point. Eventually, I may get married again, but at this point i’m totally against it. I’d rather have commitment without titles, if I know i’m connected to someone and they feel the same way, why complicate things with paperwork?
Great post!
Anarya Andir said:
Thanks a lot for reading! I agree – too much emphasis is put on getting married. I agree it’s a great thing for people who want to get married, but it shouldn’t be forced on people who don’t want to. Again there’s no need to get married if you’re not ready for it. 🙂
Hemant Kn said:
ha ha nice discussion here 😀 but i am single ready to mingle 😀 😀 😀
Anarya Andir said:
Ready to mingle? Read the warnings above 😛
Hemant Kn said:
i read all the warnings above and still 😀 😀 😀 …. if u like u can share your fb id with me ahh ha ha ha ha :D.. joking 🙂
Anarya Andir said:
Hahaha 😛
arjun bagga said:
I got a live-in girlfriend for 12 years now. No plans to marry, no intention to quit cause there’s no baggage and we treat each other as individuals free to do whatever but responsibly
Anarya Andir said:
It’s good you guys respect your spaces – so I guess these problems don’t plague you. 😀
arjun bagga said:
I was officially engaged twice before my current gf. Relatives and friends came over, partied hard both times but God had bettter plans, now it appears, he knew well a writer deserves not a family life but a den to write in peace and a backpack. My dad till date cribs about his wasted money. lol.
Anarya Andir said:
Hahaha – I can understand your dad’s woes. But ultimately you’ve chosen what’s good for you and if that’s keeping you happy, nothing better!
arjun bagga said:
True. Thank you, just.
Anarya Andir said:
😀
sunil said:
Dear writer,
this is what i really want in life. I want to b laeding my life in my own way. I dont want to act infront of others to safegaurd any married relations… Marriage really sucks… The most imp thing u mentiones is tat v cn travel the whole world and save many things.. I really luved ur writngs.. Awesme….
Anarya Andir said:
Dear Sunil,
It’s great you know what you want. I guess there are so many people who really don’t want to marry – and it’s a good thing I suppose. Definitely great to be able to do things alone and work towards saving and travelling the world!
Thanks a lot for dropping by and leaving a comment. Much appreciated :).
Nidaa said:
Hey… New to this blog. You have listed exactly what I wanted from life (what I have now). Constant nagging to get ‘settled’ is the only hitch.
Anarya Andir said:
Hi! Thanks for dropping by!
Yes I know what you mean by the nagging and the pressure and stuff. I guess we just have to fight it out 🙂
Aron Subagio said:
Great! I’ve read the article and it helps me to make up my decision: I’m single and I’ll always be. I don’t have to worry about other people’s opinion as long as I’m enjoying what I’m doing. Thanks for the information! (Oh, and by the way, I’m still 18 and I’m Indonesian).
Anarya Andir said:
That’s great. Don’t ever feel forced because of what society tells you to do. :).
Rajdeep Maity said:
Yeah your points are so true many people want to marry only to show others that they are having a spouse and leading a normal life ,according to the society but who cares what society thinks.I personally believe that marriage is a very complicated thing with full of responsibilities . i am a male and wanna stay single forever…….:)
Anarya Andir said:
Well I guess whatever you think is best for you. The important thing is not to get pressurised by anyone. 🙂
Natique Shaikh said:
I’m also ready for mingle .. I read total warning who harmful for married life hahahaha but I wanna do practically
Anarya Andir said:
Haha, whatever floats your boat 😀
Go Travel Armenia said:
Interesting 🙂
Anarya Andir said:
Thank you 🙂
Vinayak said:
I agreed with all above points what you mentioned but how to convey these all points to my parents??? They think that what people will discuss about our family, about you, means they actually afraid of our community. So how I convey them??..please tell me
Anarya Andir said:
Well of course I don’t know your family, so I can’t give any foolproof suggestions, but I think you need to be firm and tell them that if they want you to be an independent human being, they need to see you as capable of making your own decisions. And if you’re not ready to be married right now, that is because you know that you are not ready. Ask them to accept that. All the best!
Pallavi said:
I like all the points.. I agree with your views
Even I am planning to be single through out my life. 😎